Food Problems. Beh.

So, I have spent the better part of the last week catching up on Grey's Anatomy. The last season I saw was... in... well, 2009, I think. So I was pretty behind. I started earlier this week watching Season 6. I had really forgotten how great this series is. haha. So, now, I am on Season 8 Episode 9, so no spoilers, okay!

I haven't really been so into a show that I can watch it back to back to back to back for days in a while. But, this one, I totally can. I wonder if I am just in a better frame of mind for it now... or, maybe I am just that bored because of the winter.

New subject...

Yesterday I was really wanting to bake something sweet. And so, I decided to make my grandma's cookies, and also brownies. And I have seen on Pinterest before that people make the brownie/cookies. lol. You know what I am talking about? Like cookie on the bottom and brownie on the top. Well, it didn't turn out that fantastically. I think my cookie portion was too thick,, along with the brownie portion. But, with the brownie... I decided to go a little experimental... I ran out of flower, but really wanted some brownie batter to eat, because it takes way better than any brownie I have ever had. So, I did however, have some coconut flour, and decided to use it. And... even though it said on the side of the coconut flour that I could replace up to 20% of regular flower with coconut flour... I of course did not follow that. I was like, meh, it's only a cup and a half of flour! pftttt. I was wrong. lol. I soaked up like, ALL of the liquid, and I had to end up adding in some almond milk. It also took FOREVER to cook. FOREVER. Like... 1.5 hours, and that may or may not be because I totally set the oven too low... heh.

I have been craving baked goods like none other. I was doing so well... And I have gained like 3 lbs, which sucks. I need to get back on track with running... But the stupid snow has got me frozen. I am scared to drive out in it for like, the first time ever in my life, and I think that is due to the fact that I am babysitting someone else's car, and that's what I have available to me to drive, because husband is going to work with our car.

Anyway, so I have been eating and baking and eating. And it sucks. I am totally scared to get back over that 160lb mark. SCARED. I want to cry about it. But, I cannot find it in me to do anything about it. I want to just sit here all day, fuck around on the internet, and do absolutely nothing. It's even been kind of hard to get off my ass to even shower and get ready for the day. I think a lot of that is having to do with the seasonal depression. I feel bleeeeehhhh. And then I gave myself that mini challenge and messed it up since Friday. Beh. What is my issue? I am surprised I have been able to take my BC in the morning for the last couple of days, now THAT is an accomplishment! 

So this is probably part of the reason why I am gaining weight. Winter comfort food. It's absolutely positively fucking delicious. 

After Thanksgiving we decided we definitely did not get enough Thanksgiving turkey or sides. Man oh man. So, since it's my birthday month, husband made me another turkey. OH, and I MADE THE BEST MASHED POTATOES EVER. You know what I used it them?? Greek yogurt. I usually use delicious cream cheese, but I didn't have any, so I decided on Greek Yogurt. Best decision ever. I also used original flavored almond milk, salt, and unsalted butter. Goodness, they were the best. I definitely want to use greek yogurt again! 

I also think that I need to start working on my portions again. I think I may have been eating too much at one time since husband has been back. Oh, and better snacks, actually eating snacks too... It's been kind of difficult to stick with things since he's been back. Not that it is his fault at all... I guess I have just been weak and distracted. I have like zero discipline.