On Making New Friends.

Is there some sort of application process I can start to make some new friends? I honestly have a ton of online friends, but I am desperate for some meaningful human interaction. 

Today I am meeting up with someone who I have known for a while now, but just never hung out with. She texted me asking if it was okay to bring another friend along. I said in all honestly "Honestly, I was trying to hang out with just you, so I could get to know you better". While she was absolutely cool about that response, I couldn't help but think that maybe my reaction is rude? I am not sure. I really suck in groups of three or more. As in, I ALWAYS feel like a third wheel. Though, I think it would be different if we were all mutually not really knowing each other. Anyway, what do you do when you're trying to make a new friend?

I am not good with change. When my friends make or have other friends, and start hanging out with them more, I feel... cheated. Or something, and that's a shitty feeling. I know it's really pathetic, but especially when they don't make time for our friendship, something has to be going on. Maybe it's me? I really suck at keeping more than one really close friend, but, I CAN keep more than one friend. I am pretty good about delegating my time.

I have this friend who I really enjoy being around, but I knew I wasn't her "bestie" which is fine and dandy, whatever. But her "bestie" was away so we were hanging out more, getting to know each other better. I was trying to be an adult and "mature" so, I had to voice my worry of her not hanging out with me anymore when her "bestie" gets back. She basically said "yeah my bestie hogs me, sorry." and that's about it. I didn't get an ounce of like "Oh, okay, I'm sorry, I will try harder to hang out with you." or any kind of reconciliation of my worry. And you know what happened? I haven't hung out with her. And you know how that makes me feel? Right, like poop. lol.

So what can I do to make friends, that are 'real' friends? I know that my 'real' friends can't all be in the states. Though, I am not sure about them either. Because I rarely talk to any of my friends back in the states... But I do know that once I get back to Oregon (if ever?) it will be like I never left. Which is nice to know in the back of my head. But it's just amazing how true the saying "out of sight, out of mind" is.

And then, what do you do when you have some people trying to be your friends, but you think they're dumber than a box of rocks? Seriously, this is an issue...

I wonder if I expect too much out of my friends? I seriously think that isn't the problem. I expect from friends, as much from them as I would give them myself. It's a 50/50 partner relationship, I am pretty sure both sides have to do a little bit of work to stay together! Just like a marriage! lol. But... less touchy! 

So what do you do when you feel like you've grown out of the friends that aren't really hanging out with you anymore? Do you just blow it off? Do you make new friends? How do YOU make new friends? Or do you hermit and hang out with your computer/furry kids/kids/spouse/whatever instead of making new friends?

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1 comment:

  1. The more we talk, the more I realize we are like the same freaking person!! I have never been good at making friends. High school was easy.. I'm a blabber mouth, so I just talked to whoever was closest to me. But now that I'm a so-called grown up? Psh.. I suck.. I lost contact with almost all my friends as soon as they went off to college. Then I got married, and lost more friends.. Then the friends I had left became Moms, and they abandoned me too. I tried SO hard to keep in contact with them. But after tons of unanswered texts and cancelled lunch dates, I gave up. I made a new friend when we lived in Troutdale, but then once I became a Mom, she started avoiding me a bit. (Totally understandable, since she has been trying to get pregnant for a couple years) But it still hurt, you know? I have my ONE best friend, but sometimes, I want someone else to talk to. One friend just isn't enough, especially when that one isn't very good at listening to my life.. just talking about her own.. *sigh* I even tried starting up this Mom's Club of all the young moms we went to school with.. But that only worked for like 2 months, and now no one comes anymore. Sucky. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something wrong, you know? I think I'm a pretty damn good friend, but maybe I'm just delusional? Sorry about the long rant.. lol


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