- May 1, 2012
Deployment, it's creeping up like a freaking snake! You can't hear it nor see it... But it's there, about ready to bite me in the ass. It's crazy. The biggest thing is trying to rein in my emotions. They're all over the damn place, and make me feel like a crazy person! It's hard to stay on track with what my mind is actually thinking, it's going around in circles and I just can't get it organized. I am tired all the time, and the tears come too easily! Again, crazy person... I am sure all of this is normal, but, it just hasn't happened to me before. I thought it would feel similar to when Dan and I first met, and then he left to S.Korea, and then I thought it would feel similar to when Dan and I got married, and then he went back to S.Korea. LOL. I realize it's not the same, at all, not even close. But, honestly... What's so different about it? We won't see each other again for however many months, and all that. We've done this before. But, again... we haven't. I don't know what to feel, or even how to feel it.
The worst part is I feel like I am pushing my love away, and I don't want to do that! How do you not do that? It's so difficult!
On the bright side, we are trying to get Koodge perfect puppy ready for me while Dan is gone! We've been doing double time on the leash training and we tried for the first time to run him while I ride a bike! Ha!
Koodge did really great while Dan rode with him. And it was really great for him to RUN!! And I can't RUN (yet...) SO, I think this will be really great for both Koodge and I while Dan is gone.
Last night while on our family walk, we tried a new technique... Think Dog Whisperer noise (Shhhthhsh ??) plus a grab/poke to Koodge's chest (of course not hurting him!!), and my gosh, it worked!! He fell in line, and walked with SLACK in the leash. I was almost in tears! He was doing so amazingly, I barely recognized my very own Koodge-pup!
We're cutting down to the wire, and trying to get everything in order before he's gone. I've got some goals, and I plan to share those in the next blog or two!!