I WAS AN ONLY CHILD...

I was born in December of 1987, Christmas eve, to be exact. My whole life, I had always wished that I had an older brother. Someone who would look out for me, and take care of me in the only way that older brothers can do. 

Older brothers just know more than your parents do, and are probably slightly more protective. Depending on how much older than you they are, they're probably in the same school. They get to see everything you do, and they see who you've got crushes on. They get to that kid before your dad does, and give them the what for. Big brothers are for rough housing and best friend material. Someone who knows slightly more than you in life, and was there for your birth.

I never got any of this. I was an only child. Being an only child... I had always made fun for myself. I liked to be alone, and I was always treated like an adult. I've always been thankful for this treatment because I believe that it helped me to become the mature adult I am today. A mature adult who likes a lot of alone time. LOL. However, I've always yearned for that connection I see between siblings. I see it in my husband's family, the love that is just innately there. The friendship, unbreakable friendship, that is there. And the feeling of needing to be there for those people whenever necessary.

I see it in anyone who has brothers and/or sisters. I feel completely jealous that they have that. Friends from the beginning. Rough housing when needed, and fights when necessary (or not). Learning how to share, and living with more than one other person in your presence at all times. I think siblings could be a blessing in disguise. I am sure so many people are thankful for their siblings. 

I want that. That closeness, and everything that comes with having a sibling. 

Most of my life my mom told me that I had a brother, my dad's son. The whole side of my dad's family was in denial. If it was ever brought up, there was a fight, or they would just shut down. Though, my mom said that my dad paid child support for another kid. I was really young when my mom first started telling me this, but every time I wish I had a brother aloud my mom would say "you already have one.". This never sunk in, I even met him at a young age, but I don't remember.

Fast forward to Holiday time 2010. It started to sink in. I had a sibling out there, I just got married, siblings were all in my face all the time. I had to find him. He was somewhere out there in the world of the U.S. of A.... Somewhere. I did all sorts of crazy internet searches trying to find him... Finally I enlisted my mom to try and help me out. She knew someone who knew someone who knew either my brother, or someone related to him.

To be honest, I made one call from the list of #'s I found with my Bro's full name... and got a wrong number. Ha. That was awkward, but they were very nice people, and they weren't upset about it. Surprised, but understanding. Haha. I don't think I made another random phone call after that.

My mom came up with good information and I finally called him. It was really weird, but it was really nice. It went something like this:

Me: Hello, is (insert brother's name here) available?
Him: This is him.
Me: Hi, my name is Adrienne, and my dad is (insert dad's full name here)...
Him: HI! *very excited*

I think I was shaking. But he was warm and receptive. My brother has a very kind voice, and seems to be a very nice person. Come to find out, bro was born Dec. 1986, only a few days after Christmas... Weird that we are so close in age... brings up additional questions about how long my parents knew each other before I was conceived... lol.

This all went very well. In April 2011, I met my half brother. It took a lot of finagling, but I managed it. Luckily, bro lives in Oregon so it wasn't TOO terribly difficult. And my family likes eating. We all met at Spirit Mountain Casino for some food. My dad came a bit tipsy, but so did Bro... They must be related. They both were very nervous. This was the first time my dad and Bro had ever met each other. It was awkward for me, and for all of us. My Grandparents, husband, dad, bro and his girlfriend were all present.

Bro and I hit it off very well. I must say he is a very nice guy. I wish I were closer to him. 

My brother (left) and dad (right)

Bro, me, dad.

Being in Germany, and he in Oregon, it's really hard to build the connection I see in other siblings. I hope we can make it like we're real close family one day... But both of us are equally shitty in the contacting department. And he doesn't really have a great way to contact me. So I am left doing most of the contacting. Like I said, I really kind of suck at it. Sometimes I feel like I am doing all the work. I am not sure exactly how I feel about that.

Maybe that connection is only meant for those who grew up together? However, I grew up with my cousin, and we barely talk any more. Who knows, it's hard, keeping connected is so difficult.

I can't wait to get back to Oregon one day to hopefully build that bridge into family with my brother. 

Do you have any family or friends that you find difficult to keep up and in contact with? How does it make you feel?