Friday Letters.

Exhausted after being a douchehead for most of the day.

Dearest Koodge...

I love you to the most little bits of pieces. But MY GOODNESS. Could you please get over your anxiety issues... You've been with us for well over a year now, and we've done all that we can. We'll never get rid of you, and we ALWAYS come back. You are a well cared for, and loved puppy. You have really great toys, awesome places to sleep, and you even get to sleep with us in bed! Please please, please!! Give us a break, sometimes we both have to leave the house, and we cannot take 30 minutes to do so. We love you so much, can you please give us a break?

Dear Koodge's Old Owners, 

You really messed up our dog. I hope you feel bad. I wish there was a way to prove this, and for you to pay for your mistakes, but alas, there is no way. I hope it riddles your conscious with guilt and remorse. This poor dog has some issues. But you know what? We're taking care of him, love him, and will keep him until his dying day. He is a GREAT dog, with an amazing personality. But he got his underlying issues by his upbringing, and I don't think this will ever change.

Dear DoucheBags of America, 

I cannot believe there is so much HATE and distrust in America... 

Yesterday I was so disgusted by people's behavior that I literally felt nauseous.
We voted,
Obama won.
Okay, he wasn't my first choice, but he won.
Whether it is 'fair' or not, he's it. He's the president.
Time to move on. 

Dear People Who Think that Legalizing Marijuana in CO and WA is like, the worst thing ever,

Really? That's what you're going to complain about? -- There are many GOOD things that the Marijuana plant can do for you, and for the world! Not only is is a mind altering substance (I am not down for the drug, I don't think it's cool... btw) but when prescribed; it can help manage pain, help people with MS have almost NO symptoms, help people with eating disorders, and much more. Also, aside from the SMOKING benefit, there are many cultivating (heh?) benefits, the Marijuana plant grows MUCH faster than ANY tree, therefore, my tree hugging, pot smoking, hippy dippy friends, we could make PAPER products, hemp products and MORE. Easily renewable! -- Probably even giving more jobs. 

Just saying, but it's not the worst thing in the world. 

Dear Bladder, Can I please sleep through one whole night without having to pee? You're making it really hard to try and drink the appropriate amount of water throughout the day... Because I ALWAYS have to pee in the middle of the night. 

Sincerely, Me.